“Seven Habits” Updated for Modern Times

Revised for the 21st Century

In 1994 Dr. Stephen R. Covey revolutionized the world of personal development with the publication of his groundbreaking work, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. In it Dr.Covey identified the key behaviors he found common in most, if not all, successful individuals. The original publication encouraged readers to grow from dependence to independence to interdependence on others, stressing character and values while advising readers to cultivate such Habits as “Being Proactive, learning to “Putting First Things First,” and to “Synergize the efforts of the people around you.”

We live in a far different reality then the one Dr. Covey was addressing over two decades ago. Responding to these changes, the “PersDev-Engineers” at the Covey Institute returned to lab recently and revamped the program for the 21st Century. This updated version lays out the core attributes and behaviors needed to navigate the world today successfully.

The New and Improved Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Select the Right Parents
Nothing gets life started off on the right foot faster than having that sense of entitlement that comes from being born into that valued 1%. The right Mom and Dad give you access. Effective people have families who provide them with monetary resources, business connections, and inside information — saving them precious time that would otherwise be wasted in earning a living, forming relationships and generally learning how to do anything useful. 

Competition is fierce for the few available slots, so If no suitable parents are available, then the next best thing is to opt for “Cheerleader Parents,” the kind who will incessantly praise every little thing you do, filling you with bulletproof self-confidence that will allow you to brush-off any future egregious character flaws, lapses in judgment, or business failures.

Be Incredibly Good Looking
It is no accident that Highly Effective people also tend to be “Hot.” Whether male or female, pretty people are popular and popular people get farther than not so pretty people. Not so pretty, but still influential, people will always want to be seen with you and give you things like jobs, sex, money, free drinks, sex, trips to Southern France, promotions, insider stock tips, concert tickets, and of course, sex.

If nothing else, strive to be tall — tall and thin for woman, tall and trim, or muscular, for men. You and everything you do will immediately get noticed. As an added bonus, you’ll go through life leaving a trail of great looking selfies.

NOTE: You may want to also consider physical appearance when choosing your parents, the right genes can give you a great head start in the “looks” department.

Develop a Delusional Sense of Self Confidence.
You’ve doubtlessly have heard the phrase “Fake it until you make it.” Today’s Effective people have simplified that adage to “Just Fake It”. You can be anything you want to be so long as you totally believe in yourself, dispensing with outdated notions like “Education,” “Experience,” and “Knowledge.”

Also, people have a craving for strong authoritarian figures, or to put it another way, they are hard-wired to “follow any loud mouth jerk who looks like they know what they’re doing”…as long as that’s the case, that “jerk” might as well be you. Effective people make their own rules, define their own success, and create their own facts. Try it, it’s fun!

Cultivate Celebrity
Fame has become the currency of the modern world. What good is creating all that fabulousness if nobody is liking, following or sharing your wonderfulness?

Best of all, it’s now so easy! Start by setting up the Social Media platform of your choice and simply tell people what they want to hear, throw in some strong opinions about things you have little knowledge of, and sprinkle in a dash of merciless ridicule of anyone who disagrees with you and, Presto Chango, you’re a star!

Make the Right Friends
It’s not enough to know a lot of people, it’s essential to know the right a lot of people. No matter how well placed, how good looking or how delusional a person might be, no one can go it alone and do it all by themselves.

That “Old Boys/Girls Network” can supply you with a mentor who takes you under their wing, a boss who champions your overestimated abilities, or even just a well-placed drinking buddy who can open doors for you faster than a tip-hungry Valet. In addition, you’ll also need to collect cronies, disciples, hangers-on, and of course, sheep, to knowingly, or unknowingly, do your bidding.

Exercise Good Fortune
Nothing is more powerful than dumb luck—the dumber, the better. Whether it’s getting a job with a small, start-up tech company that grows up to be Google, having a parent who knows how to tap dance around the heritance tax, or getting unexpected help from a foreign government — a well placed lucky break will speed your path to success and cover a ton of shortcomings.

As an added bonus, it will fuel your sense of superiority!

Never Forget, It is all about the money
More than ever, money is life’s report card. People and success are measured in dollars, yen, rubles. Any behavior can be justified as long as it results in a big pay-day of some kind.

Bonus TIP

If All Else Fails…

Do well in school, work hard, live a good life. Just don’t expect too much.